CurrentMix

Do your parents not understand technology? Do they ask you stupid questions? Do they send you absurd text messages? Do they use words like “MyFace,”"SpaceBook,”or “The World Wide Web?”
If you’ve got an example of your Parents Just Don’t Understanding, submit it here!
And thank God we’ll never be as dumb as they are!

Every morning, my dad sends a picture text message of something random he sees (a tree, a bridge, a car) to my entire family. He calls this his “blog.”
Andi S from Tufts

My grandfather is doing fairly well for an 86-year-old. He has successfully mastered his HD TV, TiVo, cell, facebook, he set up his own wireless internet, and in an unrelated but pretty hard-core note, he re-roofed his entire house, by himself. We are all very proud of him. Somehow he still manages to invite me to gmail every time he e-mails me. I have a gmail account. I get six invites a day.
J D

My brother and I were watching a movie at home (at night) and wanted to turn off all our surrounding lights so we could fully appreciate the awesomeness of our 58-inch HDTV. My dad, however, insisted on keeping the brightest light on so he could see the keyboard of his laptop. Hey Dad? The screen GLOWS.
Kylie Zhang

Last night, my dad ended up screaming at me, throwing our wireless keyboard into the couch and storming off because “the fucking internet doesn’t work. The link your school gave us is in bold and I can’t put that in so it keeps taking me to the wrong website!” He forgot the “.” before “.com”
Erika Hakanson from Elon

I sent my mom a text message saying “love you mom” and she responded by sending me a text with my address.
David V

It’s been an entire week since your last confession and there’s been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 5 and don’t forget to submit your misdeeds to our submission page!

Well I work night shift 12hrs on 12 hrs off. I had this roommate that loved to play his 360 every single night (Usually Gears of War). Every night I would say “Dude at least mute it tV” “Uh OK” He wouldn’t. So finally one day before he came in I took a hot iron to all of his damn games. He never figured it out. Also our neighbors could smell his feet through the cinderblock wall and metal doors.
Chris P.

I lived in the dorms my freshman year of college. A bunch of the guys started a prank war during the middle of the semester and my roommate and I wanted no part of it, until someone got into our room and basically wrecked it by throwing our clothes everywhere and turning our beds over. Earlier that year, I had climbed into the attic. The only things up there were a couple of dead bird skeletons and some bird eggs that had never hatched. I never found out who wrecked our room, but I took the bird skeletons and eggs down and cooked them in the microwave of each room that I felt could be responsible (like 5 or 6 rooms). The prank war ended that day.
Will W. from Auburn

My roommate never really did anything to piss me off but I’m kind of an asshole, and an asshole that likes to play pranks. One day I decided that I would scare him terribly while he is sleeping. I downloaded an audio file of dogs barking and blasted through my speakers to give the effect that there were dogs in the main room. I then had my female neighbor scream at the top of her lungs and I threw a chair against the wall to add the effect of a break in. I then kicked in the door and put a paintball gun in his face while wearing a ski mask. He yelped and almost cried. The worst part is I videotaped the entire thing and uploaded it to facebook/youtube. It got so popular around campus that girls would approach him as “the kid that almost cried.”
Chris P. from Delaware

The dryer in our building was broken and my room mate and I had piles of dirty clothes. One day we decided to wash them and let them “air dry”. My roommate thought that air drying meant placing all the wet clothes on my bed (the bottom bunk). I ended up sleeping on the floor since soggy blankets and pillows are uncomfortable. The next day while he was out I removed his mattress and gave it the illusion that a mattress still existed. Well, that night my roommate came home tired as hell and leaped onto his bed only to fall through to my bed which was covered in cold, soaking wet towels. Surprise!
Evan G. from ASU

My roommate is a complete slob, like most of the victims in these confessions, but to get a complete visual, imagine Cartman in South Park’s “Make Love, Not Warcraft” episode. The kid eats no less than 6 Hot Pockets a day and has been known to eat an entire loaf of bread in 30 minutes (but it’s OK because it’s whole-grain which is “healthier”). Anyway, as you can imagine he eats all his food then scavenges the rest of the week. Well of course, the rest of us got pissed and decided to swap out some of the food. We filled the milk jugs with