Will.I.Am Says LMFAO Will Join Madonna at Super Bowl

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I Can’t Stop Looking at This Weird Chinese Goat [Weird Goats]

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What a weird-looking goat, in China. [Flickr] More »

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The Paranoid Conspiracy Theory of a T.A. Who Says Yale Is a ‘Freemason’ ‘Sea-Monster’ [Ivy League]

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When it comes to paranoia, certain environments are more fertile than others. Yale University, gothic bastion of secret societies and birthplace of the C.I.A., is among America’s most fertile. More »

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Penguin Shits on Senate Floor [Video]

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It was Joe Biden in a tuxedo. Kidding! It was an African blackfooted penguin, and it was hanging out at the Kentucky State Senate during a vote about the local aquarium it calls home. Senate President David Williams reported interrupted a colleague’s speech to announce, “The penguin… just defecated on the floor.” More »

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Did Mitt Romney Convert His Dead Atheist Father-in-Law to Mormonism? [Mormons]

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One of the creepier corners of Mitt Romney’s uncannily flawless life story is the fact that he not only drew his bride, Ann Romney, over to his weird religion: He converted her entire family as well. This despite the fact that Ann’s father, Edward Davies, was a committed atheist who insisted on raising his children without religion. More »

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Free Download: The Two’s Gentle and Melodic ‘Close to Me’

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No One Tell These Rich Kids They’re Wasting $100,000 Trying to Be Indie Rock Stars [Video]

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A round of applause, please, for Abner and Harper Willis, two heartbreakingly earnest brothers from Maine, who have done more to help the economy than anyone we know by spending $109,000 at a variety of American businesses, all in a quest to become indie rock stars. “The School of Rock is expensive,” they warn their readers. “Then again, class can be a lot of fun, and some of the homework is pretty cool.” More »

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Boy Sues School Newspaper for Illustrating STD Article with His Face [High School]

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Your daily reminder that teenagers are monsters: An 18-year-old Kenny Clements is suing his high school newspaper for using a photo of his face to illustrate a factually dubious article about STDs. (”Two-thirds of the U.S. population under the age of 22 has an STD”? Need source, Diana Santacruz.) More »

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Why Can’t Barack Obama and Jan Brewer Just Get Along? [Jan Brewer]

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Perhaps you have heard the news about this, the most destabilizing political scandal to hit American politics since Teapot Dome: President Obama and Arizona Gov. Jan Brewer had a modest disagreement about her new book, Scorpions for Breakfast, on the tarmac yesterday. The photographers even captured her pointing at him. What is everyone’s problem? More »

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Which Music Exec Has a Harem of Women He Doesn’t Sleep With? [Blind Items]

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This famous music man keeps a bevy of beautiful women on the payroll. They’re not for his pleasure, they’re to lure in new artists. This actress doesn’t want to keep her baby and another actress’ famous husband is cheating with the nanny. See the trouble that happens when there are babies around? More »

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